Who's That Guy?
Script (The episode begins with NH walking to the kitchen and sitting at the table; Rack is busy cleaning dishes and Rig is drawing) NH: Good morning you two. (They ignore him) NH: Ahem, I said good morning. (They ignore him again) NH: HELLO?! (Still ignore him) Rig: (Talking to herself) A dash of black here,a dash of black there, some pie here and.....Finished! (The paper is completly black and covered in pie; Rig eats it) There Tire, now you have artwork to hang in my stomach. NH: (Rolls eyes) So human, can you at least make me breakfast? (Rack doesn't respond) NH: Fine, I'll make my own breakfast! (NH grabs milk, eggs, and a squirrel; NH tries to eat the eggs whole) NH: I prefer scrambled. (NH drinks the milk and turns green) NH: Spoiled milk, disgusting! When did this expire? LAST YEAR?! (NH turns a darker green) NH: Guess I'll save the squirrel for lunch. (NH gets up, puts the squirrel down a slot in the wall and the squirrel lands in a cage in the lab) NH: If you need me, I'm getting some fresh air. (NH walks away; Rack and Rig look at each other) Rack: Did you hear something? Rig: Nope. (NH goes into US' office; US is in front of a mirror and Dep is staring at her with hearts in his eyes) NH: Hello US and Dep, how are you two? US: (To herself) US, you are the prettiest mayor around. You have the greatest hair, hottest virgin eyes, and a smoking purple suit. (The suit is literally smoking and Dep puts it out) If everyone looked like me......actually, no one can ever look as good as me! Dep Mayor: You are the most beautiful person I've ever met. US: Thanks Dep, now go get my purple hand mirror so I may admire myself at my desk. Dep Mayor: Okay, my dear, (Dep looks at US while walking; he opens the door and falls down the stairs) Dep: I'm okay! NH: Um.....US? (US is doing multiple poses) NH: Nevermind. (NH walks out and walks to Old Man who is on the ground looking for something) NH: Oh, it's you. Hey, have you ever gotten that feeling that everyone is ignoring you? First that pathetic human Rack who always says hi to me in the morning said nothing to me, then my dumb assistant Rig was too busy pleasing her inanimate object husband, then US was too busy admiring herself and Dep was too busy staring at her to even notice me.... (Notices Old Man isn't paying attention) EVERYONE'S IGNORING ME! That's it! I'll create a invention so no one will never ignore me again! (NH runs away; Old Man finds his hearing aids and turns them on) Old Man: Darn these flimsy things. I keep losing these and I keep having to find them. Back in my day, we had those big horns that were easier to use than these thingamajigs. You didnt lose your horn and when people were trying to talk to you, you could hear them and not make them we're ignoring them! We also- (Cuts to NH finishing the invention) NH'':'' Aha, finished. Behold! (NH holds up a collar) NH: This isn't just any regular collar because when I turn it on, it will create people to notice me so I won't be ignored! Time to test this out. (NH walks outside and sees Old Man sitting on a bench) NH: Hello. (The collar releases a puff of smoke and stops working) NH: What happened? Old Man: Huh? Oh hi... (In Old Man's perspective, NH looks like Sue) Old Man: Sue, I've missed you! NH: Sue? No! It's me, NH! Old Man: Stop kidding Sue, come and give me sugar! NH: Gross! I'm out of here! (NH runs away and Old Man runs after him) NH: Man, for a old man, he sure can run fast! (NH runs to the house and runs into the kitchen and stops to pant) Rack: Oh NH, there you are! How come you look like Old Man is chasing you thinking that you're his dead wife Sue? NH: Because he is chasing me! I think my collar malfunctioned and made Old Man think I'm his wife. Rack: Collar? NH: You see- (Rig,US and Dep come in) Rig: Hi NH! US: Yo yo yo NH. Dep: Hey NH. NH: Oh NOW you recognize me! Rack: What do you mean? NH: What do I mean? I mean, all day I've been trying to talk to you guys but you didn't pay attention to me! And- (Old Man runs in) Old Man: Sue! NH: AH! Old Man, I'm not Sue! Leave me alone! Old Man: Why don't you want a kiss? NH: Because I'm a guy! Old Man: OH, just give me a kiss! (NH holds Rig up and Old Man kisses Rig) Old Man: What? You're a dog?! Um......I'm gonna go now. (Old Man walks away) Rig: EW! He has stinky breath! NH: As I was saying, I made this collar to make you guys not ignore me but this must of failed and caused Old Man to think I was Sue. Rack: Oh NH, I'm SO sorry. I ignored you since I was busy cleaning the dishes since we had none for some reason and I didn't notice you. Rig: I was busy drawing for Tire since he says my stomach looked dull, (Her stomach growls) Oh, be quiet Tire. US: I was too busy admiring myself and I usually only respond to comments. Dep Mayor: And I was too busy admiring US. Rack: But don't worry, from now on, we won't ignore you ever again. NH: Good. Now if you need me, I'm gonna go take a nap. THE END Credits Starring *Rackliffelikespurple as Rack *New Heathera as NH *Utter solitude as US *Kait Dunlap as Rig *Dep. Mayor as Dep. Mayor *Old Man as Old Man Writing *Written by: Kait Dunlap, Utter solitude, Rackliffelikespurple and New Heathera Thanks *To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters. *(This is me, Rack) to Kait for writing the episode in my place, due to me simply just not being able to write it. It may not be the best episode, but I'm just grateful she did it for me. :) * Other TBA